Caution When Wet
Tom Viall

Love?
Love is like a banana peel-
Reveal the goods and then eat your fill.
Some think it's about the sex appeal
But all they've learned is how to steal
My heart

My heart?
Lost under all the produce in your shopping cart-
Right under the bread and next to the sweet tarts.
You priced me cheap right from the start
Of your shopping trip.

Shopping trip?
Hope you made a list on your little slip.
Coming down my lane?
Caution when wet; don't slip,
You might sue me when you fall down and trip-
Better pick up some shoes-
The kind with the super grip:
Don't forget the Polydent.

Polydent?
It's to hold your teeth in so they don't get bent.
They're fake like everything else about you- hint, hint.
Caught on yet?
Probably not, I'd bet.
Better get out of my store! Better jet!

You can't eat my bread!
Stop stuffing your little head-
To me, you're dead.

By the way- you can't keep the sweet but you can have the tart
And on the way out you better return the heart.
Actually, nah, forget it- I already took it back.
I put it on the shelf but I removed the bloody sack

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